I think the problem is not islam or anti islam. Both seems to have axes to grind.
The problem is someone else wanting to regulate others’ private lives.
Besides they vast majority of people are using monogamous marriage as prescribed by government.
Government recipes are often far from normal.
If in Europe, the guy can not force the wife for sex (so sex is not part of the contract). Husband must keep paying girls already having an affair even though the girl already screw the other guy.
Some people think it’s good obviously because otherwise it won’t be the rule. However, most alternatives are prohibited and such terms are not explicitly stated in marriage vows. Perhaps during marriage vows, the groom should pronounce explicitly that he understand that sex is not part of the contract.
If in iran, for example, some scholars says that husband can beat up her wife. Marriage became a kind of bdsm. Again, I don’t see this as wrong, as long as it’s explicitly stated in the contract and other forms of marriage are equally easy. It’s not.
Just let the market participants make their own marriage contract and all the material aspects of the contract inserted in their marriage contract. Why should government make marriage rules? Why should others interpret what religious marriage means for the couple (or tripple, or quadruple, or whatever)
Some relationship are approved by government and some are not. Why governments decide?
My suggestion is to liberalize all kind of marriage.
Want polygamy, polyandry, prostitution, marriage contracts, orgy, pornography, mail order bride, or whatever, let the market decide. We just need a secular witness to tidy things up done.
If too much is not allowed, the vast majority of people will follow the only alternatives left, either abstinence or government’ sanctioned marriage. Of course, abstinence is worst than death penalty.
Others will want to kill Puji or Ariel to “defend” monogamy marriage from more efficient alternative. But if all is fine, the institution of marriage as the governments want would not sell. Nothing is left to defend.
It’ll happen anyway under globalization.
If Islam allows marriage with a 12 year old girl, but does not allow others to have concubines, people would see Islam as trying to regulate others. Of course, Islam will have a lot of enemies because people want to be free, especially when they got nukes. But if all other options exist, the enemies are only those opposing freedom.